zerp

And Today’s Number of the Day Is…

It is ZERO.

zerp

Today’s number of the day is Zero.  I suppose the letter of the day should be F… go ahead and make any assumptions you deem necessary on that one.

It’s one of those days here in Suburbia.  Nothing is going right.  Like absolutely fucking nothing, hence the number of the day being zero.

Zero… is the number of times that I have peed on my own.

Zero… is the amount of nutritional snacks I have managed to con the twins into eating.

Zero… stands for the amount of money I currently have in my bank account.  Bloody renovations.

Zero… signifies the level of energy I have at this moment.  In order to ensure that chaos does not occur I need that number to remain at a steady 12.

Zero… the size pants I wore before birthing four humans.

Zero…   the percent change my husband has at sex tonight.

Zero… naps taken in the last year.

Zero… consecutive nights that I have slept more than four hours since the twins were born.  They…are…three.

Zero…   the number of chores that I have accomplished by noon.

Oh yes I think it is fair to say that ZERO is the number of the day.

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Now if I flip the switch and go all optimist for a minute, zero still have some significance here.  Perhaps not absolutely everything is a bust around here…

 

Zero… accidents with sharp objects have occurred.

Zero… pukes from our dog.  Which means zero times that I have had to drag the three hundred pound carpet cleaner out of the front hall closet.

Zero…  snacks in this house which means that I can NOT possibly be getting any fatter today.

Zero…. sports tonight!  OMG a free night from rec sports!

Zero…  birthday, graduation or wedding events coming this weekend.  A brief moment in the ever busy spring/summer schedule.

Zero…  clouds in the sky.  Ok, that is a lie.  There are some wispy clouds up there but in Michigan if we can see the sun then we are calling it cloudless.  We are a desperate, Vitamin D deprived lot us Michiganders.

Zero…bathrooms currently ripped up.  Progress considering the last month.

 

z

Today’s number of the day guys.

 

It’s Zero.

Being A Wordsmith
ethannevelyn.com
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JakiJellz
Life Love and Dirty Dishes

26 thoughts on “And Today’s Number of the Day Is…

  1. Haha This made me chuckled. I am so tired lately and I can totally relate to the “Zero…. sports tonight! OMG a free night from rec sports!” Yeay! Zzzzzzz lol!

    Thanks for linking up with us on #FabFridayPost

  2. I loved the way you flipped that one onto a positive. Though I’m sure it would be nice to go to the toilet by yourself! Thanks for linking up with us at #FabFridayPost

  3. Way to look at the positive there in the end! Today is a zero energy day and since it’s cloudy with threatening thunder rumbling in the distance it’s a zero day of getting anything done but watching TV and movies.

  4. Ha, like how you changed the zero into a list of positives thoough! I’m having a zero day too. Zero ideas for what I will be cooking for dinner tonight and right now I give zero sh*ts about the fact I don’t know what I’m cooking for dinner 😉 However, I hope that I can find 1 bottle of wine in the fridge! #FridayFrolics

  5. Ha well at least it wasn’t all bad.. I live for the day I can say Zero….number of tantrums I have had to quell! Thanks for joining us eat #familyfun

  6. I always figure if there’s been no shouting, Lego related injuries and the cat has poo’ed in his box, I’m winning at life. Good luck this weekend 🙂

  7. Oh I’m having a zero day today too.. 0 hot drinks successfully drunk, 0 weeks had alone, 0 baths I’ve been able to take compared to ben AND hubby’s bath.. dammit… but I’ve convinced Hubby to take Ben to the shops. Maybe the day is looking up?
    Thank you for sharing this with us at #TriumphantTales. I hope to see you back on Tuesday.

  8. I honestly cannot count to 3 without doing it in the accent of The Count and ending with a “mwahahaha”. Zero episodes of dog puke has to be winning though right? Thanks for linking to #DreamTeam x

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