Mom and two daughters spend time together in the living room

Best Friends For Never

I have four best friends.

I grew them all in my uterus.

My daughters are everything I would want in a best friend.  They are smart, fun, loyal, loving and energetic.  My blonde bffs and I are stuck like glue and we do all kinds of cliche girlfriend things together like shop, stay up late giggling and whispering, and pee together.  I have to admit that I have always particularily loved being my big girl’s bff.  We have a history her and I, an entire decade chocked full of ups and downs, struggles and triumphs.  Unfortunately I am sensing that our friendship might be taking a hard right turn here sometime in the near future.  She is rapidly approaching age ten and entering the wicked town of Tween-ville. It is getting increasingly hard to win her love and admiration these days and more often than not I find myself stuck somewhere between feeling like a desperate middle schooler craving her friendship and an exasperated mother pissed off that it all went by so damn fast.  When it comes to my three younger Musketeers we are symbiotically simple.  I breathe…they love me…vice versa.  I am awesome all day everyday because I am mom.  Them and I, our love is peaceful and uncomplicated.  I find myself having to try harder with my oldest child.

And I want to try.

I want her to still think me fun and comical and sooooo cool.  Sometimes I let her stay up past her bedtime.  Oh yeah!  9 am!  We are living it up now girl.  Occasionally I let her drink pop while her little sisters sip on water of milk.  We are fancy now kiddo!  If I need to spring for a bug-eyed fluorescent Beanie Baby in order to win her love for the time being, well I am willing to dole out the five dollars it might cost me to maintain my bff status with my girl.  Because she is ten I can still have it both ways.  I can be her mother and her best friend.

I know it won’t always be this simple though.

 

Read on and share my fellow parents in the trenches!

https://www.parent.co/heading-into-tweendom-my-days-of-being-my-daughters-pal-are-numbered/

 

 

JakiJellz
JENerally Informed

 

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22 thoughts on “Best Friends For Never

  1. You so nailed this! As our Big is 9, I see the struggles she is having with my Mrs. Oy vey, they can each crawl under each others skin and make me nuts! It’s a passage we all must face, and as always, you wrote this beautifully lady! I hope your vacay rocked. We head out the end of this week! <3 #TriumphantTales

  2. My son is 10 and while I will say that in this regard it is a little easier with boys, on his last field trip I was hugging him and he was fine until he saw his friends then he roughly pushed me away and said, “mommy stop, you’re embarrassing me!” Oh man, was I floored with that. I actually got my feelings hurt. I say actually because I know he’s approaching that age where he won’t want to be around as much and I’ve tried to be as prepared for that as possible. You would think I’d be a pro at it since his older brother has been that way since he was about 8 but of course not. The hurt just sprung on me like a bee sting. I never saw it coming. He did cuddle with me later after we were home though and watched a movie so I know I still have at least a little more time left as I know your girl is still going to give you a little more time. It’s bittersweet watching our babies grow up.

  3. I’m a mum of two boys, my eldest is 16 and even though he’s grown a beard, is waaaay taller than me & is pretty damn cool he still loves his mama and isn’t afraid to still give me a hug. That’s the thing once they get out of the tween phase, they go full circle and aren’t embarrassed anymore 🙂 #TriumphantTales

  4. I’m already thinking about this time…it must be so weird when you have been so close for them to start getting older and more independent. Its such a fine line!!! Hope she still stays your mate and thanks for sharing with #bestandworst x

  5. Aww Kristin I feel for you, I know mine are only 2 and -4 months but I have a feeling it’s going to fly by too! Enjoy those $5 bribes for now! ‪Thank you for linking up to the #familyfunlinky‬

  6. Ach. My eldest is a few weeks from turning nine, and the attitude is really starting to creep in. I always nip it in the bud – manners are non-negotiable for me – but it’s beginning to feel like I’m constantly pulling her aside for little ‘chats’ that usually involve the words ‘pull your socks up’ and ‘you’re on your last warning’. Still, only 10-ish years to go before we come out the other end of the stroppy stage… 😉 #coolmumclub

  7. Argh this struck such a nerve…my eldest and I are so close, it’s hard to imagine a day she’s slamming a door in my face and we are enemies…but it’ll happen for a while I’m sure. It’s probably karma, I was a total bitch to my Mum for a while and she once told me she was scared of me. The shame. Thankfully we got past that stage!
    Thanks for linking with #coolmumclub MWAH

  8. I feel your heart, my fellow girl mom! And of course every child and situation is different. But having felt my way along and–HALLELUJAH–through (!) the tween years with my two daughters, let me encourage you: one of the greatest joys I’m finding with my almost 19-year-old is that I am still most definitely “mom” but am now, truly, friend. She calls me her best friend…but on her phone, I am “mommy.” Fight the good fight…it will be worth it, and I am so excited for the joys that lie ahead for you. (And in the meantime, my #1 piece of TOTALLY UNSOLICITED mom-of-a-tween-girl advice is to accept that life runs more smoothly when “it” is clean. Whatever “it” is.) #FridayFrivolity

  9. This is so real. My eldest turns 9 this year, and this will happen to me too. I want to hold on to those “bestie” days as long as possible. I look forward to reading how your relationships change over the next few years!
    ~Jess
    #FabFridayPost

  10. I just hope my Little Man will always want his Mumma. This is really lovely. Thanks so much for linking up to #TriumphantTales – hope to see you again on Tuesday!

  11. My eldest is 10 too and I’ve had moments of Tweendom and hideous rows with each other, then we are closer than ever again. But I fear the sparky backchat is going to become more and more frequent and I’m going to be more and more uncool to hang out with so at the moment I’m hanging on to those lovely close moments more than ever. #FabFridayPost

  12. I’m so with you. My eldest daughter is 11 and she rarely wants me to do stuff anymore – her friends are her life now. booooo Sarah #FabFridayPost

  13. Brilliant! I an soo dreading the teenage years. I was such a terrible teenage. Oh my poor mother had to suffer! lol! Well done for standing your ground. Thank you for linking up with us on #FabFridayPost

  14. You just have to ride it out until they get past their teens and as grown ups. realise that actually their mom is pretty dam awesome after all
    Thanks for linking up to #AnythingGoes 🙂
    Debbie

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