Birthday Parties- The Ultimate Bell Curve

If you think back through your childhood memories, epic birthday parties are gonna be in there somewhere.  I personally can remember celebrating with pizza, hamburgers Chuck E. Cheese and Ronald McDonald on more than one occasion. It was the eighties and McDonalds and Chuck E Cheese were the premiere birthday party hot spots.  The food was fast and hot and served on paper plates.  The drinks had red food dye in them or shit tons of sugar and probably  caffeine.  The decor was generic and marginal and maybe…MAYBE your parents sprung for a few balloons to tie up in the party room.  You probably played a few basic games…like pin the nose on Ronald or Simon says with Chuck E. Cheese himself.  That was basically it.  The establishment fed the kids, presents were opened and the kids ran around all hopped up on sugar for a good few hours while the parents stood around and chatted in a totally different room.

The age of sleepovers dawned on us next and tweens and teens around the globe stayed awake in their parents’s basements until well after 4 am.  They listened to boom boxes, ate pizza and cheese puffs, drank shit tons of pop and called the opposite sex on land lines.  Maybe if you were a complete rebel badass you snuck out of your mom and dad’s alarm free home in the dark of night and ran around the neighborhood for absolutely no good reason whatsoever.  That was about as wild as it got back in the day.  There was no internet, no cell phones, no snap chat, none of that stuff that makes my own heart race at warp speed being the mother to four daughters.


Still climbing the bell curve here college rolls around and birthdays are celebrated for weeks at a time My college roommates and I made a National holiday out of them.  You went all out, you partied, you got completely and totally annihilated, drop dead puking drunk and then woke up the next day to play beer pong and tailgate.  You were a bonified drunken super human celebrating you fanny off.

This is really the pinnacle of the birthday bell curve.


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2 thoughts on “Birthday Parties- The Ultimate Bell Curve

  1. Sounds like you were rather Alpha Mummy for a while where parties were concerned! 😉
    I think it’s very easy to get swept up in the competitiveness of it all – far easier to say fuck it and just go to a soft play centre or somewhere!

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