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How To Revamp Your Child’s Playhouse (and Totally Lose Your Shit) In Ten Easy Steps

God Lord Almighty why oh why do I do this to myself!  Two days ago the girls and I decided to give our little swing set/playscape a face lift.  What I envisioned as a fun, easy, summer family project turned into anything but.  So now I sit here (covered head to toe in paint, dirt, wood chips and glue, angry-typing how you too can create hell in your own backyard and and basically ruin peace, dreams and sanity in ten easy steps.

 

Have fun kids!

 

Step One

Have one too many cocktails at the pool and get on Pinterest.  Fall down the rabbit hole that is talented people making awesome shit.  Decide that you too can make awesome shit!  Find a cute, bright, outdoor cottage that your kids will love.  Decide that you will create this no problem.

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Step Two

Tell your kids about your stupid ass idea.  Well now it is gospel.  You spoke it and it is truth.  You can not go back on your slightly tipsy word.  You will be building a cozy cottage come hell or high water.  You are in for it now.  Idiot.

 

Step Three

Swallow it down and embrace the bad decision that you have made.  Make your poor husband get on your crafty bandwagon.  Have surprise day-sex with him in the bathroom so he now can’t say no to your evil and satanic Pinterest plan.  Try to get excited about this family project and involve your children.  Allow them to select the clubhouse paint color.  Cringe in the paint aisle of Home Depot when they joyously choose Eat-Your-Brain orange.  Try and talk them into a more serene color.  See their faces drop, their tears fall and give in to the grossest shade of orange ever created.  Your neighbors will hate you for this one.

 

Step Four

Give the kids one more chance to get involved.  Let them paint the clubhouse.  What the hell!  It’s outside anyways.  Give it all of ten minutes before you realize that you are way to uptight for this shit.  Kick them out of their own clubhouse and spend the afternoon painting moldy wood and cursing your stupid fucking ideas.

 

Step Six

Try and lay some flooring in the teeny tiny crap cottage.  Buy all sorts of supplies, set up saws and fuck it up several times.  Get in three giant fights with the husband who is also clearly inept at kiddie cottage dreams.  Lay the pea gravel, plywood and cheap vinyl tile and step back.  You idiot!  You didn’t buy enough material because you suck at math!  Back to Home Depot for the third time today.  Nearly cry at how shitty it looks while mentally adding up the emotional, financial and physical cost of this stupidness.

 

 

Read on HERE at Suburban Misfit Mom for the last of the bullshitty steps.

 

 

JENerally Informed

 

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34 thoughts on “How To Revamp Your Child’s Playhouse (and Totally Lose Your Shit) In Ten Easy Steps

  1. Damn Pinterest for making stuff like this look so easy and attainable. Us mere mortals have no where near the skills needed but I guess the kids don’t actually care. One day you’ll remember it as a funny story. #bloggerclubuk

  2. hahahahaha…… I know I can’t go farter with any DIY in my house…. I just don’t even mention any “art crafts” I FAIL!!!!
    I really wish I have you courage to start this awesome project.
    Thanks for linking up with us at #alittlebitofeverything

  3. We have just ordered our very own “adorable play cottage”. I’ve told the kids that we’re not allowed to paint it or the police will come. Because they too would choose to create a “teeny, tiny orange prison”. This is why I have never ever clicked on Pinterest. Although if I’m honest I actually think yours looks pretty good! *salutes you for even attempting it!* Thanks for linking to #DreamTeam x

  4. ha-ha-ha this is too funny! Seriously though, pinterest should be outlawed when drink is involved. It leads to overly ambitious ideas! This made me miss Home Depot lol Are we gonna get a tour of the renovated play house next?? Thanks so much for sharing with us at #BloggerClubUK

  5. lol! Hands down to you! You did this!! Very crafty mummy! Never in mind I will be doing one anytime soon! lol! Looking forward to seeing your complete pics of the play house. xx

    Thank you for linking up with us on #FabFriddayPost

  6. Brilliant! Hats off to you for even attempting it!! Did you ever do the veggie patch?! Thanks so much for linking up to #TriumphantTales – hope to see you again on Tuesday!

  7. Love this…lots of images of you painting and swearing!!!!
    We had a cute little playhouse when the kids were younger that the cat, for some reason, always used to piss in….lovely! #globalblogging

  8. I love this post, it really made me giggle. We’re about to revamp our playhouse and I’m rubbish at anything creative so I can totally relate! It’s kind of on stilts and I want it ground level. I have paint and a saw… #GlobalBlogging

  9. Haha – yes, why do these things always seem like such a good idea?? I have at least started to learn my lesson about not mentioning anything to the kids unless I am certain I really want to do it! Thanks so much for joining us for #FridayFrolics

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