74571318

I’m Going To Miss This… Just Not All Of It

I would wager that someone tells me that I am going to miss “these days” on average three to four times a week.  My kids could be laying on the supermarket floor, screaming their bloody heads off, snot dripping from their button noses and someone will waltz up to me and pat my arm.

“Soon enough you are going to miss this.”  Then they walk away.

I know they are right.  The twins are about to be three and my nine year old is already tweening out.  I already miss so much.

Like when a new baby is fast asleep and you pick them up.  Their little booties stick out and it’s the cutest thing ever.  My ovaries ache just thinking about it.

Or the smell of a new baby’s fuzzy head.  It is addicting, crack-level addicting.

What about their gummy, toothless smiles, nothing sweeter.

Oh and then there is the way they curl up into your body and let their dead weight settle on your chest.

Those days are already gone.

The pacifiers are gone.

The cribs are gone.

Even the diapers are on their way out.

There will be so much to miss.

 

There is also a lot that I will not miss.  I don’t care how many random, supermarket grannies try and convince me otherwise, there are some parts of parenting that can quite frankly go to hell.

Let’ start with the car seats.  Nothing to miss there!  They are large, cumbersome, five point pains in the ass.  The year the twins were born my middle child was still in her car seat and my oldest in a was in a booster. Every single time we left the house I strapped all three kids into their seats and double checked the oldest’s buckling job.  I won’t miss crawling through the car to get everyone buckled, sweating my ass off before we ever ;eave the garage.    I will not long for the days of cleaning puke out of each and every car seat crevice.  If you have ever had to pick curdled chunks of cheese out of your kid’s car seat with a tooth pick then you get it.  I won’t miss having to remove seats and reposition them in other vehicles and I won’t miss pulling the tightening straps so hard that my fingers stung.  Screw you car seats.  After the twins turn five we are breaking up…for good this time.  I plan on recreating the beating of the office printer scene from the movie Office Space with the last of the car seats.  You are all invited to come watch and part take.

office space

I won’t miss dressing these kids.  Sure I will miss picking cute outfits out and making them wear whatever I choose for them, but I won’t miss the actual dressing component.  No more pinning the kids to the floor in an attempt to shove a shirt over their little blonde heads!  No more considering duck-taping their socks on.  Why do kids hate socks so much anyways?  Just leave them alone God dammit!  Never will I long for the days of convincing them that their tights are not in fact “broken.”  Someday they will put their own shoes on as well as their hats and coats.  Oh how I do look forward to closing down the McCarthy Dressing Assembly Line for good. I’m done bitches.  Bye.

You will not in a million years find me crying a river over the extinction of babble.  The twins can now articulate their needs verbally and that feels amazing.  Sure I will long for their teeny, tiny high pitched voices, but not the lost in translation phase that comes along with that.

Why are you screaming?

What is it you are saying?

Do you want a cookie?  A pony?  A Xanax?

Please just f**king tell me for the love of Pete!

Trying to decode a gaggle of toddlers is exhausting work and I am about ready to turn that punch card in.  This mom is clocking out.  Now let’s discuss your latest tantrum in this newfound English language of yours kids!

 

I won’t miss their television shows either.  Bye Caillou, burn in hell you bald demon.  See ya Max and Ruby!  Peace out Peppa and George.  These shows have collectively lowered my IQ considerably and I am ready to take those points back.   CNN and Charlie Rose here I come!  I recognize that we have some time before this chapter fully closes, considering the twins are not even three, but if my calculations are correct I think I am under the 1000 day mark.  1000 more days of crap T.V. and then I can waste away watching House Hunters and Property Brothers until I die.

cry-peppa

 

 

My chest gets tight just thinking about not having my baby girls curl up to me in our cozy, king-sized bed.  I cherish those snuggles because I do know that I will miss them dearly.  Curling up with your tiny human is basically heaven on Earth.  The whole hullabaloo of actually getting them to sleep though…that is actually hell on earth.  It is hell every single freaking night and I won’t miss that part.  I won’t miss trudging from bedroom to bedroom begging my children to lay down and sleep.  I won’t miss feeling horrible and guilty over losing my ever loving shit with them because it is now nearly 10 pm and I am so tired and gross and still have a million things to do before I get to shower.  I won’t miss being kicked in the face all night long or sleeping at the foot of the bed like a dog because all four girls have supplanted me and are sleeping in my spot like angry ningas.  While we are on the sleeping (or lack there of) subject, I’ll let you in on another dirty little mommy secret.  I won’t miss pee soaked diapers two inches from my face at night, nor will I regret the day that a 6 a.m. wake up call doesn’t roll around.  The bedtime bonanza blows.

images-4

 

So there.  I can love my children all the way to the ends of the Earth and still admit to myself (and the world) that there are fleeting components that can basically just f-off.

 

Strawberry Butterscotch
“Mrs.AOK,
My Random Musings
All Mum Said
My Petit Canard
One Messy Mama
JENerally Informed

 

Epic Mommy Adventures

Mummascribbles

3 Little Buttons
Run Jump Scrap!
Tammymum
Cuddle Fairy
Diary of an imperfect mum
Life Love and Dirty Dishes
ethannevelyn.com

fandayfriday-link-party

61 thoughts on “I’m Going To Miss This… Just Not All Of It

  1. I so agree with you, as I look through my some 10 million plus iPhone pix and fondly recall every moment like it was yesterday, but pretty happy that a lot of those yesterdays are actually far gone. I’m with ya sister! xo

  2. This was such a funny and relatable read. I don’t have kids but I worked as an educator for pre-school up to 2nd grade. I can’t even tell you how much I hate Peppa Pig.

  3. I feel the exact same way! There are a ton of awesome parts of parenting but we should be able to say that parenting sucks too! You hit the nail on the head!

  4. hahaha these are good! I’m not going to miss the carseats. My baby is 8 months old and hates getting in his car seat! it does not put him to sleep, it makes him fussy!
    I will miss breastfeeding though. I love our bonding time 🙂
    But yes, I get the “you’ll miss these days/moments” so many times every week!

  5. Just yesterday someone told my wife that it’s time for third (our youngest is 5). I’m pretty sure I just witnessed the first person to be thunderpunched by a uterus. I love babies. I don’t love waking 87 times a night for feeding and changing and scheduling my day around their nap and all that $$ spent on diapers. We love our children, but we don’t necessarily love everything that comes with them… Loved reading this!

  6. The Tubblet is 13 but the Peppa Pig music still brings me out in a cold sweat. I still hate that pig. Eric is right, we love our kids, just not all the stuff they come with. #globalblogging

  7. Hahaha! This is great. I cannot wait for my daughter to get older. That’s why I say I don’t want another one. I have no desire to start the process all over again. She can mostly dress herself now, and I just need to get her potty trained and we are good.

  8. My sister mentioned to me once that there may have been talk about a law which would require kids to be in a car seat until something like 80 lbs (I may be WAY off on the weight, but it was high!). We laughed about how I would have been in a car seat until I was in 7th grade, if that was the case! Can you imagine anything worse for a middle schoolers rep than rolling up to school in a car seat?

    Seriously though, I know exactly how you feel about missing things. Those toothless smiles were definitely top on my list!
    #globalblogging

  9. We talk about this a lot! OUr eldest is turning 3 and our baby is turning 1 next month and I can’t believe how fast it has gone. What a cliche I am. But even though I agree baby head smell is addictive and I am sad that the baby versions of my boys are disappearing I wont miss the chaos and tiredness and mind numbing boredom of the early years. I love having chats with my pre-schooler and I can see the fog clearing. I will NOT miss having to pack for a weekend away every time we leave the house! Great post.
    #marvmondays

  10. Totally agree – my 10 year old is in tween world and my baby is now 6, and already glued to youtubers and pokemon! But I won’t miss car seats, I’m even already over the play park – ‘NO, I don’t want to push you on the swing for the hundredth time!’ Then I heard someone saying ‘oh you’ll soon be wishing you were pushing him on the swing’ Well, actually I really really don’t think I will. Loved this post #globalblogging

  11. Love, love, love your writing style and especially this post! I’m probably a little older than most of your readers–my son is 17. I can tell you two things: one, that there are whole sets of new things that haven’t even started for you that you will *not* miss once they are done! And two, that you WILL at some point be nostalgic about the TV shows. Courage the Cowardly Dog, Dora the Explorer, Power Rangers. *sigh*

  12. LOL! YES!

    I’m going to be really bold and say that I don’t miss as much as I thought I would. Although there are days when reality is a bitch and I just want my diaper clad baby back. (Not often though.)

    I don’t miss waking up fifty-eleven times a night with a fussy baby. I don’t miss the drool of teething. I don’t miss taking them for vaccinations. I don’t miss diapers. AT ALL. I don’t miss worrying about electrical outlets or lit candles.

    I do miss when they couldn’t talk sometimes though. Especially when they have my bad attitude. 😉

    #happynowlinkup

  13. Haha – I do NOT miss those days! I am a mom of three girls (now in their 20s) and I couldn’t WAIT to get out of those stressful toddler years (but the snuggles were nice, you’re right). Teen years were fun with all the high school activities – but the relationship I have with them now is the best! Hang in there!

  14. This made me laugh so much! Soo true… luckily (or unlucky depending on how you see it) I don’t drive so don’t really have to worry about the car seat problems but they are a pain especially when we’re getting in our friend’s and family’s car. -_-

    I can’t wait until my little girl learns to settle herself and fall asleep… in her own bed. I love the bedtime snuggles but also enjoy my bedspace without being kicked in the head by tiny feet. #TwinklyTuesday

  15. I am so with you on the car seats and the kids TV! I feel like I have a heart attack just thinking about moving the car seat to another car and getting of fitted properly!! I’m sure there will be many more things that I’ll add to my “won’t be missed” list over time too!! #BigPinkLink

  16. You always write the funniest posts! My last of 4 kids is about to move out of diapers and all of the remaining “baby traits” are slowly fading away. I guess that’s why he still sleeps in a crib 🙂 One of the hardest things as a parent is adjusting to new things so I guess we are both in that same boat.

  17. Yes, good riddance to car seats! I also quite agree that having children bathe, dress and care for all those needs is a sort of liberation of sorts that I am quite enamored with. Also, every time I see a cute and snuggly toddler I try to remind myself that they snort at night and make all kinds of other noises that make sleeping in the same room as them next to impossible. It helps.

  18. This is such a funny post. And scary too! My husband and I are just now starting to look for our first home, and you know what happens after that right?

  19. Yep. I already miss the snuggly newborn days. But that’s why big extended families exist. We’ll get a few moments during the holidays and then move on. But for now, we still need to get through toddler years, illegible speaking, and trying to figure out what on earth is wrong now. Thanks for sharing again at the #happynowlinkup!

  20. This was so hilarious to read, especially the part about Caillou burning in hell LOL LOL LOL I am past that stage with my kids, and yes, I miss it. But miss Caillou??? NO WAY.

  21. Had to gag slightly at the car seat / toothpick description, but only because it brought back such vivid gut heaving memories haha. This is hilarious – you always nail it! Thanks for sharing with #DreamTeam x

  22. I agree with so much of this. Car seats really are a pain in the ass, aren’t they! And when they won’t sleep…I think one could not concoct a more exquisite hell. #familyfun

  23. SO much truth to all of what you said. I will miss how much they need me, but love their independence. I already see it with my 7 year old. I love that he can get himself ready, and make his own lunch, but I miss the days of holding him close while we napped. I guess that’s parenthood.

  24. I wanted to throw a party the day my last son outgrew his car seat! There is so much about them being young that I don’t miss at all, but of course there are things I do miss.

  25. This is so true. There are many aspects of things about Ben being less than a year old that I will miss, but the wriggling to put on a nappy??? yeah wont miss that! I will miss him looking at me with such need as i know in a couple of years he wont even want me around.
    #anythinggoes

  26. Hi Kristin, yep, you got it in a nutshell. There is so much not to miss about having little ones. Snotty noses and sh***y asses being top of my list. We didn’t have a car until our second child was born, and I feel robbed of three years of car seat ‘fun’!

    Thank you for linking up with the #MMBC.

    xx

  27. I can identify with so much of this. My kids are growing up too fast as well but I don’t miss a lot of the baby phase – sleepless nights included! Cx #bestandworst

  28. This is so true. I can relate to all the lovely things as well but yep car seats, minging high chairs, shit telly yes yes yes! It will be nice to see the back of all that but then I’ll hold a newborn and probably think I want a third. #nutter. Thanks for sharing with #bestandworst x

  29. Couldn’t agree more; Curling up with your tiny offspring is like heaven on earth. Thank you for linking up to # #ablogginggoodtime 🎉

  30. Oh man!!! Those darn car seats!!! In 9 weeks I will have 3 car chairs and 2 boosters… Oh help me!! Don’t take a sip out of my Travel Mug, it’s probably going to be something a lot stronger than coffee 🙂 And yes, I am tired of sweating!!! Thanks for sharing #globalblogging

  31. Arghhhh car seats!! I hate these too! My 3 year old is now in the older kid car seats and they’re slightly better but still a pain in the arse!! Love all your posts!!
    #fridayfrolics

  32. Hahaha! I have a Mary Poppins voice/Batman voice too! Although, my friend told me I was talking like Miss Hamster the vet to her daughter the other day – we then had a joke the whole day when I kept saying ‘Has anybody seen my Tiddles?’ – It’s the little things! 🙂

    My children have stopped watching a lot of the shows I can’t stand like Peppa etc… thank goodness!

    We tend to watch Phineas and Ferb which is slightly more tolerable.

    Great post as always and thanks for linking up!
    #AnythingGoes

  33. Totally! As hard as my days are and as crazy as they make me I know I will miss – most of it. You damn right thought there is plenty I will not miss and car seats is absolutely one of them! Hoisting them in and out all the time, trying to negotiation one out with one in your arm – oh the logistical nightmare. As for getting them dressed, I swear it is a battle every morning, just put your clothes on. Why do we have to go through the same wriggly running trauma everyday. Nope won’t miss that.Thanks for joining us at #familyfun

  34. I won’t miss most of it but I think the overall time will be missed, the one lovely bit amongst the hard work majority, those will be the times I remember #Alittlebitofeverytthing

  35. Yes to the car seats. They are a pain but you must have very different laws to us because our children have to stay in them for waaay longer. They are high backed boosters and they just made booster seats illegal as they are deemed unsafe. So we’ll have the bulk for years! Love the honesty of this post- I won’t miss the attitude from the 4 year old! Thanks for linking up with #TwinklyTuesday

  36. I can so relate with you on this. I love my kiddos by I won’t missed all the tantruming an screaming in the house. None at all. Bring on the next stage of life excitement! Thank you for linking up with us on #FabFridayPost x

  37. My youngest is just 3 weeks old so I’m well and truly in the ‘babymoon’ bubble at the moment – reality will hit at some stage soon I expect! #familyfunlinky

  38. So true! Won’t miss asking if they need to go to the bathroom every hour and then having to help them with it!

    Thanks so much for joining us on #FridayFrolics

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.