Liar, Liar Mom Jeans on FIRE!

My name is Kristin.

I am a mom… and a big fat liar.


It’s true.

I lie to my husband, my kids and myself all day long. Perhaps I should feel badly about lying to those I love so dearly, but the truth it I don’t feel badly at all!  To be frank these white lies are getting me through most days.  Here are some of the lies that I catch myself in on a daily basis:


I’ll be there in two minutes…

No I won’t.  I might not even be there in ten minutes.  There are certain things that us moms come running for, racing down the halls straight to the source of high- pitched screaming, sobbing and possibly bleeding, and there are certain things that give us pause.  If I have told you that I will be there in two minutes, then I have already mentally assessed your needs and deemed them a Code NO.  Code NO stands for any of the following:

No, I do not want to play Barbies, My Little Ponies or Legos right this second.

No, I don’t care what you and your sisters are arguing over.  I can not imagine it being life threatening.

No, I don’t want to fix you your tenth snack of the hour.  Why don’t you rest of your last snack?  It is on the floor where you threw it.

No I don’t have or clue or a care as to where you put your Monster High Doll that is missing three quarters of its limbs.  If we are lucky that creature has found its way to the trash or the dog’s intestinal track.

These are not emergency situations.  They are not even close and therefore…I will be there in two (or twenty) minutes.


I don’t have a favorite child…

Yes I do, and I bet you moms do too.  There are times where one of the girls is my favorite kid because she is the only one who has not made me cry by lunchtime.  She can quickly be replaced by dinnertime though depending on who naps and who eats their meal without complaining.  Another favorite child emerges at bedtime.  Whoever stays in their beds for the evening is now the champion of my heart.  The darling of the day is decided on a rotating basis obviously and I am ok with that.  Everyone gets a turn.  No need to fight for my affection kids, each one of your stars will rise and then fall again darlings.


Please read the rest of this bad boy at Parent Co by clicking HERE.



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42 thoughts on “Liar, Liar Mom Jeans on FIRE!

  1. I can’t see your post. Someone please tell me it’s not just me, lol. Or should I just call and reserve my room at the psych ward right now? Eeeek! I’ll be back later to see if it shows up, as I know it’ll be another masterpiece. XO

  2. I always tell my kids when asked, “Who is being the most behaved right now? Because that’s my favorite.”

    They look at me like well “2 of us are.”

    “Yep, both of you are my favorite, right now 🙂 ” Ah, motherhood….

  3. h how I love this post, and how you made me feel better about myself! You have a way dahlink and I love it! Motherhood is some job description that nobody would ever apply for, yet is so very rewarding, if you aren’t too tired to have such an emotion. #bigpinklink #dreamteam xoxo

  4. Brilliant! ‘Just a minute’ is a lie I tell continually all day every day. As well as, I’m just going to get dressed/put the clothes away/ – no I’m not, I’m going to lie down on the bed to breathe for 5 (maybe 20) minutes whilst checking my phone x

  5. Ah, the Target lie. I think I might need to pull that one out this weekend…at least with Valentine’s Day classroom gifts there should be plausible deniability, right?

  6. Lies lies 24/7 lies…and we are all guilty of it! Please don’t let us burn in hell forever more oh lord of parenting lol! Thanks for linking up to #coolmumclub with this. xoxo

  7. “If you don’t stop being naughty, I’ll throw all your toys away” is mine. I mean to do I just don’t cause they’ve cost me to much money. I’m glad I’m not the only one that lies to their children!

  8. Its just a stage – that is my mantra. It got me through sleepless nights, teeth, tantrums you name it it is a bloody phase! Thanks for joining us at #familyfun xx

  9. Finally, I can see this post! So glad I came back to check it.

    I’m an “I’ll be there in a minute” Mom, too. It always means, I’m probably not going to report in unless someone is bleeding, though.

    Every Mom has a fave kid for sure. But I’m with you, that title can be revoked at any given moment.


  10. Love this! Especially the quick trip to Target! LOL Don’t forget, they have wine in them there aisles! Not only could you come back happy and wired on coffee, you may come bearing wine and a new piece of lingerie! LOL Target trips are the best “time out” a mom could have.

  11. We all do this including dads I know I do gets you to the end of the day haha! Thanks for linking to the #THAT FRIDAY LINKY come back next week please

  12. It’s not lying, it’s being creative with the truth. And a trip to anywhere sans-enfants is just not worth having if you don’t come home wired on Starbucks and clutching some wall art! You are brilliant! Thanks for sharing with #DreamTeam x

  13. Your post had me in fits of laughter! I have since shown in to me other half and my mum! 😀 It’s all so true! Lies lies so many lies when your a mum!! #sundaybest

  14. this. I am always saying ‘I’ll do it in a minute’ when really I know I won’t be doing it for atleast another 10..and even then I might forget! Or ‘I don’t know ask Daddy’ is another one.xx #BlogCrush

  15. Whoever stays in their beds for the evening is now the champion of my heart…best line ever. I only have one child but sometimes my pot plant is my favourite. My son calls me out when I call one minute honey, he shouts no you will be ages!! We all have to survive the day! Thank you for linking to #stayclassymama xx

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