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Peppa Pig Misses Her Chance At Freedom From The Ding-Dongs

Gawd Peppa…you missed your chance.

FINALLY Peppa The Pig was given the best of opportunities to get away from that wretched family of hers!

SHE DIDN’T TAKE IT.

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With toddler twins who are a bit obsessed with Peppa Pig, lately I have found myself completely transfixed by the idiocy of Peppa’s parents, especially Daddy Pig.  I have seen some pretty bad episodes, but today really topped them all I think.  Daddy really out did himself on this one.

Let me set the scene for you.  The pigs are on a holiday in Italy.   They arrive and are faced with a language barrier, considering they speak English only.  When the Italian animal that they are speaking with doesn’t seem to understand Mommy Pig, fat Daddy Pig steps in and says, “Let me handle this.  I am very good at talking.” (No you are not…you are actually super stupid.)

“DOOOOOO YOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUU  KKKKNNNNOOOOOWWWWW  WWHHHHHHHEEEEERRREEE  OOOOOUUUURRRR CCCAAAARRR IIIISSSS????”

Oh he is so dumb this Daddy Pig.  Just speak louder and slower and I am sure the Italian bunny will magically understand English.  Peppa- right here you should have picked that little suitcase up and walked away.  You really are better off on your own.

George saves the day by making car driving gestures and the language barrier is broken.  Little George is already smarter than Daddy Pig you see.

The pigs get in their ride and head over to their holiday home.

“Daddy, perhaps folks her drive differently than back home?”  Mommy Pig mildly suggests.

Fat ass Daddy Pig can’t even BELIEVE his wife would suggest such an idiotic idea.  “Don’t be SILLY Mama!  Driving is driving.”

Passive mommy shuts up and the ignorant, demeaning, know it all ass-pig nearly kills his entire family by driving on the wrong side of the road.  Way to go stupid.  Peppa- this is strike two.  Why are you still there?!?  Run Peppa run!  Grab George and your bags and get away from these nimrods.  They almost got you killed.  You were about to be bacon!  SAVE YOURSELVES.

They do finally arrive at the cottage where Daddy decides to take a little stroll.  Finally a good decision for Daddy Pig.  He needs to work off that gut and perhaps a walk will clear his head a bit, make him realize that he is quite a failure and his children have surpassed him in terms of intelligence, logic and common sense.  But no, he immediately falls into a large pool…because again he is the DUMBEST CREATURE ON THE PLANET!  He changes into some dry clothes, but they are the stupidest looking frocks that I have ever laid my eyes on.  How Mama Pig ever brought herself to procreate with this fool I will never quite understand.

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I have always had a sneaking suspicion that Mama Pig might be on some heavy antidepressants or sedatives in order to not become suicidal or fly into a daily rage at Daddy Pig.  This may in fact be the reason for her constant monotone mood.  Heaven knows if I was married to Daddy Pig for even one SECOND I would be toying with the idea of murder.

The rest of the episode is uneventful with the exception of the head idiot telling Mama Pig that there is no room in their suitcase for her vacation buys.  She mildly tells  Daddy that she will just buy a second suitcase.  You get it Mama Pig!  I personally would have told him to go straight to hell and that we can make some room by throwing his stupid ass outfits away. Again her meds keep her mood pretty stable.  (I should really consider looking into whatever she is on.)

Just when you think the stupid antics of Daddy Pig have come to and end and you have survived yet another torturous episode, Daddy falls in the EXACT SAME POOL AGAIN.

For crying out loud.

Sitting through kid shows for the past nine years makes me somewhat of an expert and mark my words, Daddy Pig is the worst example of a father figure I have ever seen.  Do the writers not notice this?  Have they even ever watched the show I wonder?  Kids all over the world watch Daddy Pig ignore his wife, speak in a condescending tone and put his family’s life at risk with his ignorance and stupidity.  Mama is not much better, but until I see medical records, IQ tests and assess her mental stability I can not pass judgement on her…yet.

 

Peppa- get it together and RUN.

cry-peppa

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4 thoughts on “Peppa Pig Misses Her Chance At Freedom From The Ding-Dongs

  1. Absolutely LOVE this. My 21 month old knows who Peppa Pig is by picture etc, and today it happened. She watched an episode and she is hooked. This post made me laugh out loud. Just what I needed to read on this groggy Wednesday. You are super talented. Looking out for more of Peppa’s adventures!
    #bestandworst

  2. Hilarious!! I love the holiday episodes. My daughter as stopped watching it so much now and in a weird way I miss those little piggies Hah! Maybe my little boy will be a fan and I can watch it again! I think its fun but I know that many Dad’s actually take offence to the way that Daddy Pig portrays fatherhood and that he’s a bit of a buffoon 🙂 #stayclassymama

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