I have successfully potty trained two daughters and one dog. I also am the mastermind behind training my husband to not get drunk and accidentally mistake a laundry basket for the toilet back in college. You are welcome college roommates. Now it is time to potty train the little feral twin toddlers and I am struggling. This task just might be beyond my parental capabilities. I do not remember any previous potty training being NEARLY this challenging. This experience is just about enough to bring this mom to her knees…or drive me directly to the bottle. Every time I think they are ready to take on underwear they clearly show me that I am wrong.
So very wrong.
So far this is what potty training the twins looks like…
Apparently in the twins’ minds potties make far better hats than they do pee pee receptacles. I won’t lie though, the toddlers look adorable running around with potties on their little blonde heads. The good news is this isn’t even gross since no pee has ever graced these little potties. They are probably the cleanest things in my house at the moment.
They will sit on the potty…for a price. The twins plop down on the potty only because they know that they will get a mini marshmallow as a reward. Immediately following ingestion they will run away and then throw a tantrum for more marshmallows. We are raising marshmallow addicts apparently. Shortly following this unpleasant breakdown they are bound to pee on the floor and then tell mommy to clean it up because it is “disgusting.” (That is their current favorite word, thanks older sisters!)
The twins do use their potties for one thing… a Shopkins basket. At least all of those damn Shopkins are finally all in one place. Lord I hate those things.
The following is a snippet of Dialogue between Elizabeth and myself regarding potty training….
Me: Libby, are you going to make a pee pee?”
Me: Are you going to sit on the potty?
Me: Where are you going to pee pee?
Libby: I pee in this chair.
Yes I know that they are barely two years old, and I know there is a very good chance that they will not be going to kindergarten in diapers…but still I am sooooo ready to be done changing diapers. I was just thinking the other day, over the past nine years I have had ONE YEAR diaper free. That was when I was pregnant with the twins and I was far too miserable to even enjoy the freedom.
So mommy is done now. It is time to put those big girl panties on and move onto the next grueling task…like toddler beds…or giving up the pacifier addiction.