A mother in the lotus position meditating while children jump and play around her.

The Art of Practicing Patience When You Basically Suck at It

Patience is a skill that I don’t have. I think remaining patient in the eye of the storm that is mothering four young daughters is my Achilles’s heel, my absolute downfall, the fail that I can count on just about every single day. 11 years ago I was gearing up to take on the only […]

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The Bad Mom Files: Things Moms Mourn, But Feel Like Shit Admitting It

  I love my kids to no end.  That being said there are about a million things that I will forever mourn because let’s be frank: Binge watching Outlander and eating all the day’s meals on the couch don’t jive with parenthood.  (Seriously though imagine if it did.  Would that not be glorious?)  Here are […]

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The Bad Mom Files: Things That Are So Funny…But Probably Shouldn’t Be

The Bad Mom Files were started NOT because I am an actual a bad mom, but because in recent years there has been so much emphasis on what a good mom is.  Being the perfect parent is a fucking unicorn of a concept and the rational side of our parental brains know that there is […]

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Oatmeal In The Underwear Drawer

In college my cousin had two ferrets.  I remember her telling me that those furry-clawed demons really enjoyed stealing shiny objects and hiding them.  Of all the information that should have filled my brain during my five years at university THAT is what stuck with me. Fast forward a decade plus some and I still think […]

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Little boy on doorstep trying to put his shoes on. Natural light.

Ten Killer Reasons To Send Your Child To Preschool

As the proud mother of four young girls I think it’s safe to say that I have been around the old preschool block a time or two.  My oldest girls (now ages ten and seven) went to daycare centers as babies so the transition to preschool was kind of a no brainer.  I had to […]

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Twenty-Two Things I Am Going To Do During The Twins First Month of Preschool

I can not believe we are here already. The twins are headed to preschool! For the first time ever I will have twelve hours a week all to myself as the girls learn how to count, write and act like  humans.  What on Earth will I do with myself? Oh my God so freaking much. […]

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Our Summer Bucket List That Never Happened

Right about now the better moms are finishing up their summer bucket lists. Social media says so.  They are spending their final summer days baking pies, constructing fairy houses and making one last trip to the beach to fly handmade kites.  Good for them.  They rock. I however am not doing any of those things […]

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Say What? Summer’s Top Ten Sayings

The following is a depressing soundtrack to my life for the last three months.  Take these ten saying and imagine them (if you dare) screamed and cried out in the highest pitches imaginable, 24 hours a day by four kids.  Summer has been a ragin blast kids…but I’m thinking the party is over.  Back to […]

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The Armpits of Motherhood: F*cking Chores

I’m just going to go ahead and say it. Fuck chores. They sucked when we were ten and they suck now.  Maybe they even suck more now because last time I checked we don’t get paid for them, no one even says thank you when the crap-tasks are completed and no longer do you have […]

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blowing dandelion with children's hands, photographed with the light from one flash

Why I Don’t Prefer To “Count My Blessings”

I was strolling through the garden shop the other day when a kindly Grandma stopped to chat with me. Ok.  It didn’t exactly go like that. I was chasing my wild, unruly three year old twins down the garden aisle as they ripped flowers and leaves from any plant within their reach, sweat dripping down […]

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