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The Bad Mom Files: Things Moms Mourn, But Feel Like Shit Admitting It

  I love my kids to no end.  That being said there are about a million things that I will forever mourn because let’s be frank: Binge watching Outlander and eating all the day’s meals on the couch don’t jive with parenthood.  (Seriously though imagine if it did.  Would that not be glorious?)  Here are […]

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The Bad Mom Files: Things That Are So Funny…But Probably Shouldn’t Be

The Bad Mom Files were started NOT because I am an actual a bad mom, but because in recent years there has been so much emphasis on what a good mom is.  Being the perfect parent is a fucking unicorn of a concept and the rational side of our parental brains know that there is […]

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Oatmeal In The Underwear Drawer

In college my cousin had two ferrets.  I remember her telling me that those furry-clawed demons really enjoyed stealing shiny objects and hiding them.  Of all the information that should have filled my brain during my five years at university THAT is what stuck with me. Fast forward a decade plus some and I still think […]

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Today Feels Like A Good Day To Start A Juice Cleanse

“Today feels like a good day to start a juice cleanse!” Said no sane human ever. But hey.  If there is one thing I do very well it is make fairly irrational decisions.  So doing a three day juice cleanse fits right into that schema of mine.  What can I say, I like to be […]

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Our Summer Bucket List That Never Happened

Right about now the better moms are finishing up their summer bucket lists. Social media says so.  They are spending their final summer days baking pies, constructing fairy houses and making one last trip to the beach to fly handmade kites.  Good for them.  They rock. I however am not doing any of those things […]

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Say What? Summer’s Top Ten Sayings

The following is a depressing soundtrack to my life for the last three months.  Take these ten saying and imagine them (if you dare) screamed and cried out in the highest pitches imaginable, 24 hours a day by four kids.  Summer has been a ragin blast kids…but I’m thinking the party is over.  Back to […]

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How To Get Back To School Like A Boss

Summer of 2017 is officially coming to a close and it is time for us parents to switch gears and get ready to send our little ones out into the wide world of learning and growth. Bye kids.  Summer has been a blast but I for one am so ready for you to return to […]

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The McCarthy Family Anti-Cation Fails and Outtakes

So yes. This cross country road trip has certainly been packed full of amazing sights, incredible experiences and an abundance of pleasant family memories that will hopefully sustain me through my darker parenting moments. Now let us be blunt. Just because the overwhelming majority of this trip has been positive and glorious, that is not […]

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The Continuation of The Great Anti-cation of 2017

Well it is Monday now and we are just leaving Lamar, Colorado. Nothing to see here guys… In fact that has been the story for the last 24 hours.  Nothing much to see.  We left St. Louis and continued driving west.  For awhile there it was looking pretty good.  We stopped in Lawrence, Kansas home […]

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I Bought My Kid A Hatchimal and Now I Hate Myself

You parents know them… Hatchimals. AKA The brightly colored assholes that drove moms to fifty shades of crazy during the 2016 holiday season. You couldn’t get your hands on them… If you did snag one, it cost you your mortgage as well as your soul… People who ended up with less than perfect Hatchimals lost […]

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